The dicitionary defines a grandmother as " a female grandparent" but that doesn't quite define the role many grandmothers play in our lives. I lost my grandmother this week and all I can think of is all she stood for, who she was and the gifts she gave. She gave all of her grandchildren two incredible gifts one she gave us the foundation we needed for a personal relationship with our Savior and then she gave us our grandfather and beloved Papa! Togther they provided refuge from the lives we lived. She was a nurse in her soul to her core and while she could band aid our scrapes, or pack a wound she longed to heal our souls. She was a strong and firm almost intolerable at times in her expectations of us. Truth was golden and even if you thought you might have shielded her from the wrongs in your life her discernement was so finely tuned she knew, she knew our hearts, she knew our lives. She like every woman who walks this earth was far from perfect. She lived with one dream her deepest desire to see he children and grandchildren love one another and find peace. My Kackau was a professsional to her core and my greatest honor was working along side her at Guadalupe Valley hospital now Guadalupe Regional. As a candy striper I felt like a superstar because Vera Beyer was my grandmother and when all the candy stripers gathered to eat at a table together  I enjoyed lunch with the nurses. I walked the halls knowing that the most incredible nurse was mine personally. Oh she was compassionate but she was firm. As a young teen and young adult she seemed crazy and like her expectations were unattainable but today as a mother she was everything I am. She prayed and when she knew I might not be telling the truth she never let me get away with it, she held me accountable. I heard someone say once she was like a hammer pounding in right and wrong, I too have been called "the Hammer" what an honor to be like her. She was funny too, I recall working at Wuest an old grocery store she dressed p n halloween and scared us all we thought she was a robber, but no it was my grandmother coming to trick or treat me. I never wore s store bought formal she made me beautiful dresses and I never had to worry about anyone else looking like me. When I moved to California and called to tell her I was preganant she flew to see me to celebrate with me and take me on one of her shopping sprees. In High School when I wrecked my car the EMT's knew her well so in the days before cell phones they radioed the hospital and my Kacka and my Papa came to get me. I never missed a trip to church camp or choir tour, I always had shoes on my feet and when I delievered my youngest son she gave up six weeks of her life to pack and care for a wound caused from an infection after my c-section, packing it daily and loving me. SHe taught me how to choose clothes to make me look pretty no matter what size I happened to be. I wish I knew how many teeth she paid to have straigntened or how many wisdom teeth she paid to have pulled. All my memories all my love I remember her telling me sh eloved me even though she never had to play mommy to me because I had one. I remember with tears in my eyes when she told me that my husband James was exactly who GOd wanted me to marry because not only did he ask my parents to marry me he asked her and my Papa if he cold marry me and NIccolas. She taught Niccolas to call James Daddy and no matter how hard she tried James refused to let her pay for the adoption but she loved him even more. She loved my children, she loved me and if I am firm, strong and hold those around me accountable then I learned it from her and that is my greatest honor a treasured gift. She is gone now, but who I am is so much a part of her. In her and Papa's death she gave me my greatest gift of all she gave me a sister, she gave me my best friend through a spiritual bond that can not be broken. She gave me Papa, she gave me accountabiltiy and she gave me my special sister, my friend. If your grandmother is here look to her learn her lessons, see what you want to be like her. I wouldn't change the qualtities of her I carry with me. I wouldnt' change the the joy I saw in her when she knew I was honest and I am proud that the one gift I gave her was my sobriety, her dream for her family. Her love for me understood that my recovery must be protected and she loved me, I know it hurt her when I wasn't around but she wanted me to give her great-grandsons the gift of that life. TO my beautiful grandmother, rest in the arms of Papa and know I have an added angel. We love you!

THE POTTY DANCE!

I haven't blogged in a while again but there are some stories I just have to share! First let me share that my mother-in-law has been living with us for the last couple of months. She was diagnosed with Dementia and Alzheimers, OCD, Anxiety, Depression and maybe a few other things. She is as she says "Just an old country woman" raised in a barn, on the farm or the cotton fields, the point is she is not sophisticated but has a sweet heart and Loves the Lord but she can and does provide unexpected entertainment. Tonight was actually CLASSIC.

We live in the country so not much happens but oh not tonight there were sherriffs deputies next door and like good Nosey neighbors we were outside trying to see what was happening. My sweet mother in law laid on my porch which is VERY visible to the neighbors, while my sons and their dad played basketball and I watered to trees and washed off the sidewalk. Of course all of this was just an effort to seem busy I admit thought I was watching all that was going on next door when suddenly my 71 year old mother in law stands up and in her thick accent and not se quiet announces "I have to make potty but I don't want miss anything shhh over there" As she does this she is patting her self and holding her pants jus tlike a toddler the deputies next door are staring straight at us as I stand with a water hose staring at her about to die laughing as she continues to do her jig while grabbing her self repeating she needs to potty all I could think was "DO THE POTTY... DANCE"

I finally got her inside with the promise I would tell her if anything happened while she pottied. As she went into the house I exploded with laughter seriously you cant even make this stuff up! I said a few weeks ago I am the proud mother of a 12,16 and NOW A very Energetic 71 year old! GO ME... and I thought I had no use for the Potty Dance! NOT I like the TWATTY dance though! What a blessing to have innocence around again though because all who have heard the story have enjoyed a much needed laugh! Good night Friends!