PUT IT IN PERSPECTIVE!

Honestly I always write what is going on in my life and what I learn from the events that are usually happening right then, because it seems like God teaches me something profound everyday, this week has been one of those "AH-HA" moments!

A couple of things have been going on this week, one my son and his girlfriend broke up, again, this time for good I think and the other I have had the opportunity to reconnect with old friends from high School, elementary school and some of those that I can't even remember ever not knowing them. My son and his girlfriend's break-up weighs on my heart because I love them both so much but I also know it was so time for them to move on, they are kids and need to be kids or at least I know my son needs to be a kid. I see him frustrated, hurt and to extent relieved and I just want to wipe all that pain away, give him all the knowledge and wisdom I think I have from my youth, share with him that no matter what or how your perceive it now later the pain wont be what you remember, instead he will remember his first love and wont even remember why they broke up. The significance wont be in the break up it will be in that "First-love" experience.

Now as a mom, what do I do with my frustration, you cant be angry even though hey I was, I was honestly tired of the hassle of the entirety of the girlfriend thing and since they go to different High Schools I was missing all of my sons other friends, the friends that he has carefully chosen and known since kindergarten in most cases. Frustrated and throwing up my hands and a little hurt I tried to act like I don't care or didn't care. I was frustrated and it grew throughout the evening, just frustrated with all of it my son, his now ex-girlfriend, her parents, my husband, myself, you know "mama bear" was in full defensive stance and yet I didn't really know what t o do.

I talked to an old friend that I have recently reconnected with and later the conversation, the reflection on our youth changed my perception completely. I do care, I am frustrated and I am so glad, I want to shout to the LORD thank you for letting me have these emotions, Thank you for my beautiful son, THANK You for Frustrating relationships, thank you for his heart ache, his frustration, his dads frustration, Thank you for all of it, PRAISE GOD THANK YOU FOR MY SON! Why? Its not because I am such a good Christian that I know this is how I am supposed to be, no its more about the legacy of our lives and the events that we learn from, the things that happen that impact our lives even years later. See, I have been helping my friend Nikki with the upcoming memorial golf tournament held each year in honor of her little brother Brett. Brett was 15 when a gun accident claimed his life while playing in the front yard at a friends house. 15, the same age as my son. 15, just beginning to experience life, love, heartache and for Brett and his family they never had the opportunity to see him grow up and understand that you do survive first loves, or that you get to do it all over again, and his parents didn't get to be frustrated with their sons relationships, choices, influences or parents of those outside of their home, they didn't get the opportunity to see him grow and learn from hurts and frustrations, but I do, my son does. HOW CAN I NOT THROW up my HAND IN PRAISE and say Thank YOU LORD for the gift of emotions, even the heartache, the frustration the need to defend my child, I am Blessed and thankful for every moment, every hurt, every resentment, every frustration because I have my son.

God uses things all the time from our past to teach us,for me I do want to PRAISE GOD and Shout to the HEAVENS what a BLESSING life is. I also want to say thank you to the parents of Brett Bird and to Brett's sister, Nikki Lange (Bird), because they have chosen to keep their sons memory alive, even in something as trivial as a break-up his life being lost tragically, showed me just how thankful and joyful I should be even when we are walking through hurt or anger, 19 years later, His story, his life and the loss of his life, inspired me and allowed me to say THANK YOU LORD even in adversity. I wouldn't have it any other way. Growing up is hard and we can't protect our children from emotional growth and they make mistakes along the way and even more importantly as parents we make mistakes too but wow I AM SO THANKFUL for the opportunity to Mess up, hurt and even get a little angry because I GET TO GO THROUGH it with my son. THANK YOU GOD FOR my children, for their Friends, their heartaches, their mistakes and thank you for letting me see your beauty in all of it! -Amen