No one can really prepare us for those uncomfortable moments in life, the moments that if left unattended will define us, moments that will change the image of ourselves, moments that can change the uniqueness of your spirit, the moments that can quickly turn into bitterness and anger.

There are times in my life that I reach a point that I am full, not of joy and not of anger I am just simply full, full of so much "stuff" that I don't have any place to put anymore, no more emotion, no more control, no more laughs, no more jokes, no more intelligent conversations... I am simply full and in need of escape, to get to a place where I can let it out. It used to commonly come out with a biting word aimed at someone else but now I am so aware of this flaw that I stuff it down, deep for as long as I can. Last night we attended the birthday of one of my favorite people, one of my favorite families, it is also one of those families where lives have criss-crossed and overlapped and many of those in attendance are my friends... They still are my friends but recent events in my life have made it awkward... Awkward because of a situation, where we were mutual friends and a "disagreement" has occurred, we try to desperately all coexist, but for me this is more then the friend that I am in disagreement with, this is deeper, more hurtful then just a passing argument, this is a disagreement over a perception of a betrayal or burdening situation directed at me but the reality is it hurt my husband, my children,  It was gut wrenching, painful and mind boggling to stand in a room where you know these friends have listened to lies about you, and you know because there have been multiple confirmations of discussions regarding the situation, my younger children have been been hurt  and yet I stood, i stood in a room and pretended that all is fine, that it is possible to all still be friends, and it is it is more then anything just painful, painful most of above all else my husbands heart is broken.

It is painful because in this environment there is no transparency and if you actually know me, if I let you in, then I hide nothing, but yesterday I was a shell of myself, a person who pretended because I loved the birthday girl so much that I was there, I stuffed and pretended, I silently prayed and felt awkward when something escaped my mouth that was wrong or that could be repeated. After a few hours I was about to burst into tears, not being able to take it anymore, the charade was over for me, I tried to escape for an hour, I told my husband that I had a great deal to do and asked him to run me home, my sweet husband is still not used to a wife that would rather retreat then defend, a wife that prefers the quiet of her home verses the hustle and bustle of people, For him he waits, he believes in honor and the stand, the stand of moving forward, he is the ultimate example of not letting bitterness grow, a text book example of standing through a decision, a careful choice made through prayer, and careful personal reflection, a simple disection of a situation in which he made a choice to not only teach discipline yet demonstrate love and protection of the family that lives under his roof, another second chance if his prayerful and simple guidelines are met.

I know these hurts will fade over time because every one of these beautiful people share one thing... The love of OUR HEAVENLY FATHER, we will in time move on and the silence, the awkwardness will get easier, we will heal and lies will fade, and I will rebuild what has been destroyed through Grace, I wonder though how do I quickly forgive?

There is nothing worse then seeing your husbands heart break, nothing more painful then seeing your children cry,. The only thing more painful, is pretending it isn't happening, that you were not betrayed, and when you do try to pretend that all is well, to fail and need to escape. God is working on my hurt, and Satan is too. Satan tries everyday to turn the utter heartbreak into bitterness, and I fight it, I am though one of those people that really can't pretend very well, so when the world presses in on me, I run, I run to a place where it can be just me and God, so I can talk to him, and let my tears fall freely, because bitterness is not an option for me, my pain has always led me to something beautiful, but this time it is not just my pain I fight the root of bitterness it is my husbands, my children's. I have to give it to GOD, and find a way to exist in world where I understand lies have been told, I have to hold my head up high and believe that there is a reason for it all, I have to learn that sometimes you can't defend your family or protect them from the pain handed to them by others, we are all human, Sometimes getting in the way and trying to defend is actually getting in the way of something God may be teaching you and your loved ones. Me, my job is to pray, for forgiveness, to pray for protection against bitterness, to pray that my children are resilient, to pray that my husband is not forced to continue the choice between family and those relationships that have chosen to distance themselves verses "working-it-out". I can't defend him, I can't fight for him because the reality is that is what got us here to begin with. Through Christ all things are possible so I have to believe that in time it will heal, is just another weapon Satan uses to brew bitterness the very thing that got us to this point. For me too, it has forced me to see things differently, I have many times over the years disagreed and I have rejected choices of those around me and punished them through my choice of "cutting them off at the knees" so to speak, so now on the other side of that kind of hurt I realize that Satan can not win, God has to prevail, so there is a delicate and prayerful choice to be made in which I must learn to stand through the fires, and trust that God will bring me through.

With the Holidays coming I share this because bitterness and hatred are tools of Satan's trade, and hearts can't beat to full capacity with the roots of such tangled and twined around our hearts. Christmas is 25 days away, I pray that for all of us, we think of the miracle and reach out and give forgiveness to someone love and be loved in return.! If Christ was born to die for our sins so that we could have eternal life did he not also demonstrate what forgiveness is, he says that we are to turn the other cheek 70 times 7 now secretly I calculated that that is only 490 passes on forgiveness but I also know that was an infinite number imagine if God Walked around with a tally and after just 490 sins we were out, doesn't leave much room for hope does it? So, simply put bitterness can not take root, Forgiveness must be given even before it is asked for. GOD BLESS!

Daily Scriptures from Bible Gateway
Matthew 5:39But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.Matthew 5:38-40 (in Context) Matthew 5 (Whole Chapter)
Luke 6:29If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic.

LET's SAVE AMERICA before the WORLD

I got to go to HEB this morning and buy groceries... I hate the grocery store but WHEW in today's economy what a Blessing it is to go to the grocery store. I come home and made my posts on FB etc. and I can't help but notice all the post regarding saving the world, feeding the hungry, providing health care around the world and my heart beats a little fast and tears fill my eyes because I can't help but think of all those right here in America that need help! The economy has caused normal families to suffer, those once considered middle class are losing their stuff, OK we can all lose a car, a home, furniture, it hurts but those things are not important if you have a place to sleep and food to eat, the problem is there are so many families that don't have food to eat, can't pay their electric bill, can't take their sick baby to see a doctor and some that have no idea where they will sleep tonight let alone won't have a turkey on the table for Thanksgiving.

I love sharing and caring for those everywhere, but I am saddened that in a time when so many need help our churches, our government and many others are spending millions if not trillions to save the world, why cant we help out our own? Why can't we love a little more right here in the USA, why do church members feel shame for help yet they send the WORLD money. How many Americans, like myself have helped or contributed to the hunger crisis in the world but can't get help from their own community. I hear the stories over and over "you own a home, you own a car or sorry the budget for helping has been spent" It is hard to ask for help, it is even harder when you do find the courage to ask to be turned away. I guess the honest, brutal truth is, the very people who used to contribute to World Hunger, or the AIDS crisis need help here, today, in America. I know from personal experience that often people just don't understand how hard things are for our neighbors. So, your neighbor still has their home, Do you know for sure they are not about to lose it? So your friend still has their car, do you know for sure that they even want it and patiently waiting for the lender to repossess it, or maybe they don't know how to hold onto it but without they can't get to the job they just found paying less then a third of what they once made. Does someone in your church group ask for prayer because times are tough but you think "oh things will get better", have you asked how bad or how tough it really is? Have you asked someone if they have food? If they are you sure they will have heat and water? You might be surprised how many people that you think are doing just fine are laying awake at night staring at the ceiling wondering how they are going to explain to their kids why their is no food, why the water was turned off or the electricity is off. Imagine a mother who lives in her dream home, driving the car she always wanted, realizing that stuff doesn't matter but for now she can only keep her children sheltered in the house she once loved at least until the foreclosure happens, she can only get to work in the car until repossession happens, food is scarce and she cries at night because she honestly doesn't know what she will feed her family. If you don't know someone experiencing this maybe you haven't asked. Times are tough, and if you have never gone through it then THANK GOD, But love someone, a stranger or your neighbor, I am telling you you never know who is hurting and what a Blessing you might be. Its happening here, in our back yards, to our neighbors, to our friends, to people you would not suspect because we are not listening. Listen to the hearts around you. Maybe you don't have any extra money, but there are leftovers or always room for another plate at the table. I don't know the answer but I know there are many many more people fighting to survive and feed their families then registered with local agencies and when they ask for help, love them.

I know amazing people that have opened their hearts and reached out without judgement, I guess I just have a desire to see that we take care of those here at home first. The rest of the WORLD needs help to, I know but America needs help! Be thankful for all you have and if you need help, don't be defeated, Trust God to lead you. Blessings to all, If you are reading this I love you, Happy Thanks Giving, its not about the turkey, or the pie it really is about simply being able to eat. GOD BLESS!

So this morning started off with incredible weight of the world... My eyes opened and boom there it was all the fear, anxiety of another day and me pressing on. Well not before I cried and screamed, gotta be honest. My boys were leaving for school and I was broken, torn and well fighting for some sanity in my life. THey left one thing I learned 3 years ago in recovery was if the day doesn't start right get back in bed and start over... so for the first time ever that is what i did, I went back to bed. My body ached with pain ( I took a bit of a tumble at the superbowl game on Sunday and today I HURT) my mind swam with everything and I knew todya was one of those days that I needed to be in prayer so thats what I did. I sent my husband to handle the world and I prayed. Pressing first and foremost on my heart was "REACH out" I have a terrible habit of not letting people hold me up when I need it so today I did. I took baby steps as I reached out to three incredible women and said here are the 7 things I need prayer for. GUESS WHAT? God has answered them each like in a snap... WOW. Obedience there it is. I will share with people my heart, my past struggles but I want to be a inspiration, not a downer. HA- I am human. I guess God wanted to know how obedient I would be because he sent me a couple of special angels that BOOM took care of my needs. I got to be loved today, not just give it. That is incredible, oh I love to love you but I don't like to be loved (go figure) I want to help you but I am not sure that I can let others love me but today I let myself be loved by the incredible women in my life... Times are hard and God has Blessed my family with incredible friendships and me the big goober never wants to let anyone love me but they do anyway. THere is no shame in accepting help, there is more shame in being stubborn enough not to accept it. There are incredible Blessings in accepting love, its good to know you are loved, I talk about tangible reminders of GOds love but I always take that to mean because God has given me friends that love me just as I am but one of his tangible reminders of his Love is also when people help you, I know when I want to help someone I am hurt if they tell me no, I am doing what God would have me to do so today I learned to reach out, I learned to accept help and i lerned to let people love me. What a day!

Good Morning! I woke up this morning in prayer. Why? Anxiety I guess. You know sometimes I think it is my weakest time the mornings when I first open my eyes. I wonder how many people experience the same insanity. I open my eyes and my first thoughts are well Christmas is right around the corner, the economy has hurt us, my eyes flutter shut and a list of clients that need to pay, or are expecting a bigger or better discount, the immediate pressing timeline for the first issue of Women of Seguin, the unbelievable amount of articles, ads and appointments needed to be completed and we have 7 days to do it, THanksgiving takes up at least 2 plus the weekend, my mind feels like it is going to press together and my eyes literally have only opened once so I roll over and the fleeting thought crosses my mind, you will fail Traci, no way, its all too much then I launch into prayer, A prayer asking for guidance, wisdom becuase I have no idea what lays ahead. Business or personally.

A constant state of prayer that is where I need to be. Isn't it funny though last night before I went to bed I was pumped... ready to go... take my life back and then over night while I slept the enemy (the devil) invaded my thoughts and again tried to steal my joy, my life. UGH, in my sleep their is no safe place to hide, I must be spiritually fit, I am suiting up, I am putting on the armor of the LORD, and I will meet the devil in whatever battle he needs to fight me on, I have the BLOOD of JeSUS CHIRST, I will win... I already have because I have eternal life... I just get to be the vessel.

God Bless!

So, I wrote the intro to yet another great-maybe-someday-hope to- get-to-it novel! It cracks me up, I have these ideas they pop in my head, I have the characters, the whole beggining of the book sometimes I even know the outcome and I have written tons of actaul incomplete manuscripts... writing is so what I do so why don't i. I think I am scared. Scared to fail if I don't try then I can dream, If I succeeed will I ever remain humble? Either way I could lose. I am smiling as I write that, I already have more then I ever dreamed I get to write for thousands in our hometown, I am the Editor of a small magazine (Title only really editing is not what a Editor in Chief does) which you cna all tell by reading my blogs. So I am off to bed tonight and going to start praying. I have these ideas it is one of my dreams and thanks to Cousin Rhonda who wrote a "Why Not me List" when it came to her having Breast Cancer, geez if she is willing to take cancer because as she said "why not me" who am I to put off one single thing God may have for me.

IF you have been praying for me to find myself and have strength to SPEAK... come out of my cave... GO hide quick becasue while I will never be the on-the-go forget to stope and smell the roses girl I once was (or at least that is my prayer and my goal) I am ready to be a part of society. :) I have also decided that there is much to my story that I need to tell,

I love you All, GOD BLESS!

I forgot I promised to post my entire column from the last issue of WONB heree. I had to cut it quite a bit for space... Here it is for everyone that wants to read more. I want to say though this was a very difficult thing to share, Truly allowing myself to be so raw, so transparent took a great deal of Trust in My heavenly father. God is good and I know that but sometimes I wonder about the world. My prayer is that someone will read this and be touched, find courage to change, God he can make anything beautiful and any of us who allow him even more beautiful. It is such a miracle to see the ugliness of a past bloom into beauty. GOD BLESS!


From the October WONB issue Full Column!

Have you ever known anyone in an abusive relationship or have you yourself experienced the power of fear produced through abuse? Most of us have probably encountered that friend at work that you wonder how she could be so accident prone, or where all the bruises really come from, those are the cases that leave visible signs for the world to consider but there are even more cases that you have no idea, maybe you eat lunch everyday with the kindest, funniest guy in the world, or the sweetest most gentile motherly woman you have ever met with no thought to the monster they become with the flip of a switch turning their rage and terror on those they love.

I can’t tell you that domestic violence is something I have never experienced, I can’t tell you its victims are foreign to me nor can I sit and ignore the truth as to who the abusers are parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents. From the greatest guy in the world leading the “picture perfect life” no one guessing the terror unleashed at random intervals, a father who raged incessantly and mothers who beat their children or left them to suffer abuse at the hands of others, those who through words alone destroyed and cut us to our inner core shaping the virtual image we would battle of ourselves even into adulthood and worse the stories of the victims that became themselves the abuser.

The faces of abuse are many and can be emotional, mental, physical or often a combination. I experienced physical abuse during my first marriage and I was not only the victim but played a part as abuser too. I actually grew to prefer the physical abuse verses the mental and emotional. I can still hear words fired at me like a high-powered semi-automatic weapon, I would take a slap, a push or a kick over the words, words that ring in my head still today. In fact I grew to the point that I would lunge at him knowing that once I physically put myself in the path of his words I would no longer hear them and I would be free from the sting. I was not free from fault and still not sure where the pattern began and why I believed our behaviors were acceptable. In the end I know I was terrified of everything. The man I was married too was a stranger to me as I was a stranger to myself.

I can recall standing outside of a hotel room begging the man I had married the father of my child, to let me have my precious baby, ultimately we struck a deal, I went to him and his brother took my baby placing him in the arms of my mother. With the knowledge that my little boy was safely back in Texas, I raged planning to escape the madness of my life, I beat this man, clawed him, bit him and with every overpowering slap, kick or push I fought harder and finally called 911 and beating him on the head with the phone ran to freedom and the hotel parking lot, so I thought. I quickly learned that law enforcement officers really have no patience with domestic violence as they placed us both in handcuffs and I was anything but free. I don’t know that I really ever done much wrong in my life at this point, unless trying to make a bad marriage work is wrong. I only wanted to escape and return home to Texas instead I found myself in a stark, cold cell with women suspected of murder, stabbings and a heroine addict coming down. I cried and cried and the officers kept taking me out of my cell trying to make me understand that if I continued to cry one of those women would hurt me. I was beyond the capacity of comprehending, my head swam with guilt, fear, and disgrace and most importantly I Was confused how I could have called for help yet found myself in jail charged with assault!

Within twenty-four hours I was released, charges dropped and freedom was within my sights, taking cab back to the hotel I quickly discovered all of my personal belongings including my identification had been taken, I stood there lost, scared of everyone, ashamed and in fear. That is when my abuser became my protector, he had posted bail and everything we had was gone and the streets were our only answer and a life spent within the confines of the life he had lived secretly for years, a life of crimes, drugs and lacking anything familiar. I spent the next 6 weeks living a life that I cant even explain, I cant tell you the abuse I endured or the gripping fear that imprisoned me that if I did not do exactly as he said he would kill my baby, his words always rang in my head “I wont kill you I will make you live without your baby”. I knew that I couldn’t live without him and spent many nights wishing he would just kill me so my baby would be safe. I was afraid to ask anyone for help. My parents believed I had chosen this way of life, the cops had arrested me and my will to survive was gone except I had this precious baby waiting for his mommy in Texas, it had already been 6 weeks, I missed his first birthday. I really don’t remember much about the day I came home, except I was sitting on a bench outside a Denny’s when a man, a known drug dealer, told me to get in his car, I didn’t care anymore, there was no running from this life so I did, to my surprise he said these words to me “I am putting you on a bus home, you don’t belong in this world, you are different then the rest of us.” I wish I could tell you that nightmare ended here but it did not, in fact in many ways it had only begun.

It is an extremely long bus ride from California to Texas and during a very long wait in Los Angeles the nightmare began again as my abuser walked into the bus station and boarded the very bus I was bound for Texas on. I was convinced he would kill me before I made it home. Around Fort Stockton, I believe with my whole heart he might have killed me that day but a man on the bus set down next to me and offered me an apple, I still love apples to this day because it was the first food I had in days, and every time my ex would come close to me it was like he couldn’t break through this invisible wall protecting me. Once in San Antonio, waiting on my dad to pick me up in the middle of the night this angel said to me “Stay close to your earthly father and never take your eyes off your heavenly father” I swear to you that as my dad pulled up, this man simply wasn’t there.

My father fearful of losing his daughter and his grandson, tried to make peace with my ex and myself and through my insanity and my fear somehow, my ex convinced me yet again to go with him then he carefully planned to take our son from my parents. I cant remember everything step by step I only know that I remember seeing my cousin and walking straight to him and telling him “He is going to take him.” That day I stayed with my baby and thanks to simple support without judgment I found the strength to take my baby, we hid for weeks but eventually my ex-husband grew tired and left us alone, we divorced and I thought the terror was over.

I eventually terminated parental rights and re-married, what I didn’t know was that it would take me Eleven years before I even began to deal with the life I had once had, I did not know that to some extent I would become the abuser. My husband experienced verbal abuse, me cutting him down in anger and I can still do that. I couldn’t look at me and I suppressed many of the memories that occurred during that brutal six weeks. The unthinkable things I somehow believed were my fault, I believed that everything that happened to me from every sexual assault to every slap, every word that burned into me that I deserved everything I was getting. My self image was damaged to begin with, I never believed I was pretty enough and I always struggled with my weight, I suffer the most today with my self image.

I can’t believe that almost fifteen years later I have the courage to tell my story without fear of judgment. I share this story because Domestic Violence is serious and its real, Women are the victims, Women are the abusers, as either we need to break the cycle and the only way we can do that is to stop whispering about domestic violence, stop ignoring it, stop stereotyping and recognize women are in danger. The abuser, the victim both suffer in a silent pain that those of us who have survived can only pray another woman does not ever endure.

I pray that women will Stand together, be someone’s safe place to fall, be another woman’s friend. Mentor allow her to say to you I am scared, or I think I may be abusive and love her anyway, Pray with her, hold her love her. God is an amazing and Sovereign Lord and he can restore us all, be another’s woman hand of courage when fear is suffocating her, don’t judge her, And LOVE HER!

you know I have always thought of myself as this really good person, I love passionately and I fight hard for those I love and I forgive pretty easily, I get angry and I get hurt but I love you so that is OK, but I also while I don't stay angry I also tend to push people away that love me. Today that fact, that "thing" that God has been showing me for so long that I just keep saying "no God, I am better off" slapped me in the face and it hurt. Not a little sting but like punch in the gut. I love you but I tend to keep those who love me at arms length, if you get too close I push. I think it is a pattern I developed when I drank too much, ate too much and just didn't do good things too much. Today I was honored and humbled to go and stay with our cousin Rhonda who just had A mastectomy, I got to hang out with her while James and Gean (her husband) went grocery shopping ( GOTTA LOVE THAT LADIES, the guys went to the store but that's how they both are). While the men were gone Rhonda's surgeon called to let her know that the pathology report was positive for cancer in 3 of the 8 lymph nodes. Man, wow, all I could do was say OK God, here I am and why me because I pushed her away hard. Why? Because they loved me, for who I was, who I could be, and who they knew I should be and didn't judge me, because they spoke truth into my life, because I was scared of the closeness, because I loved them and they loved me in return and they knew the REAL ME. 3 years ago or so I started on an incredible journey of falling in Love with Jesus, and out of the image of myself, in the process I pushed people away. I hear so often now that I people always feel like I am holding something back, like there is something I am not saying. My excuse is always the same, I am scared, I don't know how to Trust, I can only trust God but then trusting God means that I let people in, that I give and i RECEIVE. I am not good at the receiving part. Today, reminded me that we need friends, we need family and we need to be close to those God weaves into our lives (Rhonda's words, not mine). All in all it was a beautiful afternoon even with Cancer taking a stab at someone I love very much. It was still a great day, because the best part about people loving you they love you when you walk away, they love you when you come home and they love while your gone, I almost felt like the prodigal son and yet after opening up to Rhonda and sharing whats been going on in my world, he this amazing GOD I shared allowed me to be there when she got the news, no I was not giving in that moment, I was receiving receiving the blessing of being there for someone and being OK with the fact that I was the one there to support her even after all the time I let pass... GO GRAB SOMEONE YOU LOVE AND TELL THEM, Call an old friend, build a bridge, Trust that if GOD loves us so can his other children, Trust in GOD, Trust in his Love and let him put people in your life to be a tangible reminder of his goodness, his grace, his comfort, his love and enjoy the fellowship don't be afraid to let others in, speak let people know the blessings are so worth it.

I LOVE YOU ALL... GOD BLESS!

what do you do when faced with a difficult choice? My husband and I were recently faced with a very difficult decision. We had been told some things and observed some behaivors that had us concerned regarding a possible abuse of a child. We had no hard core proof, we only had the statements of 3 very young children that raised RED FLags for us. We knew we could be wrong if we actually acqused another adult of hurting a child but we also knew that we had to say something. On a prayer and alot of faith we opted to go to the childs mother and tell her what we felt and what had been said. The events that followed were more then I could have ever dreamed would have happened and cost my husband and I both greatly. We lost a relationship that we valued greatly because our concerns were taken discussed and eventually we felt threatned, My fear quickly became for my own children and my heart broke because the anger fueled by these concerns actually led to a very fast move and a cutting of all ties to my husband and I. I have spent over a week in deep sorrow for this loss an dpraying as to if I had made the right choice. I may not have said the right things in the most perfect way but eventually I was set free from my sadness why? Because, If I wrongly acqused an adult my husband and I are both adult enough to admit when are wrong and ask for forgiveness but we could have never forgiven ourselves if these children would have been hurt and we never said a word.

Sometimes you have to be willling to let someone or something walk away in order to protect those you love, children are defenseless in this maddening world yet as adults we understand people make mistakes or not, we also understand that sometimes people react in order to defend themselves. All we can do is speak the truth as we know it, be honest with everyone in our paths, and ask for forgiveness when we are wrong. We have to check ourselves and that is the one awesome thing we found in this situation, that my husband and I have trully developed a accountability system for each other and even though it resulted in hurt for others we knew because of our accountablity to one another and our commitment to GOD that we both believed what we did was in the best interest of the children. I hate difficult choices but I love when we get to the other side, just like in this circumstance, it hurt but it drew my husband and I much closer, just when we thought we couldn't get any closer. God is so amazing!

With the suicide of the Canyon High School student, I sit heart breaking for his family, for all the other students and with overwhelming desire to hold my children close. Christianity Today reports that suicide is the 6th most common cause of death for children between ages 5-14. Staggering that a child between those ages could think their life had no value and be so saddened that they would take their own life. Even more disturbing is that every 17 minutes in America according to the report in Christianity Today someone tries to take their life. It is hard to understand suicide at any age. What does Suicide mean to our Faith, Our Salvation? Romans 8:32 offers a great deal of hope that nothing a believer does will separate us from the love of our father in heaven. There are also 6 examples of suicide in the Bible, I have to believe that God gave us these examples so we would know that he loves us and what to expect in this life.

As a teenager I recall two mothers taking their lives. Those were hard deaths but they were easy too because we could be angry at the moms, how could they leave their children. Later my dads childhood friend took his life and in another event a friend took his life at that of his son. You can't wrap you mind around it but then 5 years ago my cousin decided that this world was just too much and ended his life. A young man with what looked like everything to live for and yet he ended. He I know had faith, salvation and at one time wanted to go into ministry. What causes someone to think that its just too bad.

Last week I blogged on hope and that there is never NO HOPE because we always have eternity and all the stuff happening here on earth is just the "STUFF" in between but I am grown, I have walked through pain, I have healed, hurt, been hurt, and made it through with a loving GOD! What about our children why? Why and can we ask why? I believe we can tell GOD "I don't understand Lord, help me have faith." Scripture refers to Jesus asking a man of a sick child if he had Faith and the man replied "NO, help me have Faith." In this time of loss, in this time when we are all confused, when it seems like there is no hope, there is. Another life should not be lost in vain and one way as parents and friends we can do that is by opening our hearts and our arms. We have to create a safe place for our kids, our spouses, our friends a place where they can tell us anything without fear of being judged. To feel all alone, to feel like no one would understand and that your life is worth nothing, most of us have felt that at some point but it quickly passes but when someone doesn't have somebody to go to why wouldn't they end it all. This world is a scary place. Open your hearts, open your minds and be some ones safe place to fall. Give a teenager a HUG TODAY! Reach out and tell your kids, a kid around that their life is precious, that you would miss them if they were gone!