So this morning started off with incredible weight of the world... My eyes opened and boom there it was all the fear, anxiety of another day and me pressing on. Well not before I cried and screamed, gotta be honest. My boys were leaving for school and I was broken, torn and well fighting for some sanity in my life. THey left one thing I learned 3 years ago in recovery was if the day doesn't start right get back in bed and start over... so for the first time ever that is what i did, I went back to bed. My body ached with pain ( I took a bit of a tumble at the superbowl game on Sunday and today I HURT) my mind swam with everything and I knew todya was one of those days that I needed to be in prayer so thats what I did. I sent my husband to handle the world and I prayed. Pressing first and foremost on my heart was "REACH out" I have a terrible habit of not letting people hold me up when I need it so today I did. I took baby steps as I reached out to three incredible women and said here are the 7 things I need prayer for. GUESS WHAT? God has answered them each like in a snap... WOW. Obedience there it is. I will share with people my heart, my past struggles but I want to be a inspiration, not a downer. HA- I am human. I guess God wanted to know how obedient I would be because he sent me a couple of special angels that BOOM took care of my needs. I got to be loved today, not just give it. That is incredible, oh I love to love you but I don't like to be loved (go figure) I want to help you but I am not sure that I can let others love me but today I let myself be loved by the incredible women in my life... Times are hard and God has Blessed my family with incredible friendships and me the big goober never wants to let anyone love me but they do anyway. THere is no shame in accepting help, there is more shame in being stubborn enough not to accept it. There are incredible Blessings in accepting love, its good to know you are loved, I talk about tangible reminders of GOds love but I always take that to mean because God has given me friends that love me just as I am but one of his tangible reminders of his Love is also when people help you, I know when I want to help someone I am hurt if they tell me no, I am doing what God would have me to do so today I learned to reach out, I learned to accept help and i lerned to let people love me. What a day!