Acceptance

Acceptance-

I have always struggled with acceptance and life being all about me, seriously unless it has to do with my kids I want people to see it my way because I often no most of the time I THINK MY WAY IS BEST! As part of my journey I have learned that I am not always right, I have also learned that justification usually means I am wrong. I am a self described "momma Bear" and I will fight for my kids if I believe they are being wronged but I also let them fight for themselves. I believe in the way I have been parenting and think the proof is "in the pudding"as they say as my boys are amazing young men. I struggle with the different ways parents raise their children, it used to be I struggled with families raising their children with out Christ now I struggle with Christian Familes and I think I must be a natural born debater and think I am so persuaisive which really means I am a great manipulater. I think parenting should be my way because I have such great kids, but when I really reflect on that I parent my boys differently. Nicc is my oldest and I can yell at him and bring him to his knees and all it does is make him feel bad so I can talk sternly calmly and effectively and we go far. Collin is my mentally tough little boy meaning he has been a challenge except for the fact that he is a good kid, there are still things I have to really get on him about, he hates yelling and basically I can take everything in the world away from him and he doesn't care (oh he does but he is not going to show you that you might have the upper hand) so with him I have always learned that spending quality time with him and working with him on whatever he needs is effective. I have had 15 years of practice and all I knew when they handed me my baby was all the things I didn't want to do as a parent and that I wanted them to respect me, love me and always know they could be honest with me, somehow we have accomplished that. I am proud of my boys, I dont ground them, I dont beat them, I talk to them and really try to figure out what is going on. I dont use their lives as a weapon. I hated that growing up that everytime their was something big coming up in my life it was always "if you dont do this you wony do that" ugh it was like oh yeah now I can control you, Nicc just does the best he can and is a bit of a "suck up" I think and Collin is more of "Yeah right like me or not I am ok with me" he is a great leader Nicc is a pacifier wanting to keep peace, wanting to be accepted.

So why am I writing this, well they are growing up and I am strugling with the acceptance of how other parent and how it affects my children. Example, my son has fallen in love over the last four months, and I never tell him if he doesnt do something he cant see her, I joke with him that he might be grounded from holding hands or her lips but they can see each other. He has spent all summer trying to help her do what is expected of her instead of griping about it. they have both done a beautiful job, school is starting and they are at different High Schools and as much as they have committed to helping one another before school even starts it seems they are being punished by not being able to see each other, and her parents are hoping that "He is just the weapon they need to get her on the right track academicaly." Ok so I have to accept that they parent however they want and respect that but see I want to see it my way which turns it around and makes it about my son and what he is losing when he done nothing but be PERFECT to a fault. There have been tons of expectations put on him as this beautiful girls boyfriend and he has come to deal with them very well but now I feel as if he is being punished for soemthing I don't understand. the truth is this is about acceptance of the difference in parenting. Acceptance that we do thing sour way and they do things their way and meshing the two together is some kind of harmonious relationship. Well, that leads me to acceptance.

Genesis 4:7If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.

"Job 2:10He replied, "You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.

THese two scriptures say to me that I have to accept. I accept all the Blessings the Lord has for me, I even ask for them but that also means I have to accept the trials that come my way because he is Lord and has Blessed me. It also means that watching my son struglle to do what is right and not be in agreement with the way things are happening now means that he is doing things right or he is at least trying. Not to say the parents are sinning but they have their reasons and those are not for me to know! This is just our life and acceptance is full of unaswered questions and all we get to do is in the Lord and we get to pray for wisdom and acceptance. Simple, not hardly but definitely educational. We never know when we will be validated or receive affirmation for our actions but even as I sit here typing this thought my boys returned from the store with a card "You are my night light" on the front and then both had written me a little note thanking me for all I do but mainly my support. I lvoe who they are and their openess and their ability to show appreciation, and be real with me. I don't know but I think I am doing something right!