I am breathing so much easier this morning! It’s a funny thing how I know the answer is always there, I know God holds the future and yet I struggle to trust. A friend of mine told me earlier this year that when I feel like that I need to walk around repeating over and over in my head "I trust you Jesus, I trust you Jesus." I have employed that many times, I do trust in my heart but my mind gets in the way, thinking of all the things that could go wrong, all the people I have to make happy, everyone depending on me and I want to know I can live up to that; a daunting task to say the least to put that much pressure on myself. Well, like every time I worry GOD performs his miracles and I am blown away by his mercy, his grace and how he works.

The latest edition of the magazine is out and it also premieres the newest publication as a flip cover, which I thought was this great idea which ultimately it was however it came with its own set of trials. When it was finally delivered by air cargo because of missed deadlines, my nerves were all but shot waiting to see the finished product. My printers press broke which meant we had to use a different machine, my cover printed very poorly and the cover model looked as if she was translucent on the glossier paper, we switched out covers. The issue looked great but of course there were or are a few unsatisfied clients out there. This is where I am not a good business woman because I want everyone happy. I struggle with making business decisions and facing dissatisfied clients. I literally lose sleep over it. So yesterday the original cover model was quite upset, I was with my kids and unable to deal with the situation and I got very upset when I heard this voice "Do you trust me?" Which I had to reply "Yes Jesus I do", I have to trust that the decisions we made were the right ones because we don’t do anything personally or professionally without talking it over with the man upstairs but with all the knowledge and experiences I wonder why do I doubt? It is so hard to admit that I doubt but I do. I believe in my father in Heaven, I do trust him but yet I don't because I let the world get in the way, I let life get in the way. My mother-in-law is almost 70 and when the world gets too much and she doesn't trust what she is doing she will literally go to bed until she KNOWS what GOD wants her to do. I have known her to not answer the phone, or come out of her room for a couple of days as she goes into a time of fasting and prayer. Sometimes I wish I could do that but I can't, with kids, a husband and a business, so I get to just pray and be Blessed that GOD knows my heart and that he continues to work on me and show me how he handles things. It makes me think about my own kids and how I have experienced exactly what they are going through but they don't get that I have the answer so I have to wait for them to get it; I guess that’s exactly how God feels!

Be Blessed and remember when all else fails repeat "I trust you Jesus" over and over it does help!