I woke up this morning and launched into prayer, I really want God to answer me but I realized I want him to answer me a certain way so I have to let go and let him do his thing which I have no doubt he will do. I jsut have to be ready when he shows me. It made me think of part of my journey that led me here, part of my story, I thought I would share it this morning.

On January 23, 2007 I woke up and I felt bad, I didn't really have a fever I wasn't really achy I just felt bad, you know those days, the days you want to just climb in bed. My body felt heavier then usual, My head was clouded and no I did not have a hangover, it had already been some time since I had a Drink. So I forced myself to get dressed and head to work. I had been having some helath issues since summer, but today was just different. I was tired, foggy and my tongue felt like I had burned it, my left arm had started to ache. I was driving to work on the highway when my left side began having shooting pains and spasms, my eye twitched but it did it constantly and my toes were twitching, my arm and leg had shooting pains starting in my head shooting down my leg into the twitching little toes. I was bewildered and reached for my drink, my trusted 44 oz Diet coke (I am never without one, LOL) I could not form my lips around my straw and I realized my face was numb. Now I did not say oh WOW this is going ot be fun, NO I FREAKED, I calle dinto work and when I couldn't talk I began to CRY which seemed to make the pains and the loss of feeling in my left side grow worse. By 10 am I could not move my leg, my arm, eat, talk or close my eyes.  I quickly learned that the ability to close your and open your eyes in not a sign of a stroke which I was convinced I was having until the neurologist pointed this out. So what was wrong with me? The search was on to find a diagnosis while I suffered with a foot that felt like it was waking up (EXCRUCIATING after 3 or 4 hours), a hand and arm that barely moved when I told it too, my face looked like I had had a stroke, my eyes had to be taped shut to sleep, and I had terrible shooting pains... DAYS like this, I could not talk, I could not smile I literally had to learn to wait, I also remember being happy, wanting to laugh and smile and not being able to do it. I promised myself then that if I EVER GOT TO SMILE again I would do it all the time, and often I forget that sometimes. I eventually recovered and discovered the culprits behind my health issues but I often say that was truly the beggining of GOD getting my attention, I couldn't talk, walk or BALK at anything so it was me and GOD, my silent prayers and his MORE Then SILENT answers. He began working in me and I really let him... So I have to wait for GOD to answer ... I can't push it... I can't make it happen... So I pray and I wait... I love it, I love that MY GOD teaches me, but more then anything I love when I can say "oh yeah I have been here before, ok I know what I am supposed to do, Give it to GOD, Pray, TRUST in HIM and wait, He has the future!